Dating

Dating is one of the subjects I've avoided on my blog. Sure, I've talked about how I'm single and how just about everyone thinks I should be married by now. But I haven't straight out talked about dating. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. To make it simple, I think it has been overdone. Just about every college female has posted her thoughts on dating. Often times she comes across as being bitter, or has hating everything the male gender has ever said to her. She must have had a rough life. But let's be honest. The females aren't the only ones posting about dating. And they aren't the only ones coming off as bitter and rude.

When talking to these young men, or even from just reading their blog posts, I've found that the same three pieces of advice come from all of them. One: "Don't be so old fashion. Ask the guy out for once!" Two: "You just need to smile more. Seriously, you're always giving off an intimidating look of annoyance." And three: "Quit doing so much for us. For once we'd like to make dinner for ourselves, thank you very much."

Okay, you caught me. That last one really comes from an apostle. And I paraphrased. The direct quote isn't quite so sarcastic. Dallin H. Oaks said, "Young women... don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door."

So, I've been given those three pieces of advice. I've followed them. I've asked on more dates than I've been asked on. I've flat out told guys the way I feel about them. I smiled so much my little brother told me to "stop smiling so much, you look like a freak." I've smiled so much while walking on campus that the smile turned into laughter. I'm sure that isn't the goal of smiling more, but I think I entertained a few people. The last bit of advice I'm not too proud of. I'm guilty of providing dinner for a group guys at least once a week. Whoops! I guess I followed the "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach" advice instead.

And now you may ask, what are the results of me "following" this advice? I'll tell you. I'm single. I'm living with my parents again. I don't even need to use all the fingers on one hand to count how many times I've been asked on a date. I'm still president of the Virgin Lips club I started in high school, quite possibly the last original member. Am I ashamed? Am I unhappy?  Do I spend each night crying into my pillow while watching Never Been Kissed?

Again, let me tell you. I am happy. I'm not ashamed. Never Been Kissed is one of my favorite movies, but I'm not watching it and crying all the time. And I can honestly say that I love my life.

Here is my advice to all, both boys and girls. Err, excuse me, to both MEN and WOMEN. ;) Date who you want, when you want, and how you want. Be yourself. If you are a girl who expects the guys to ask on dates, you don't constantly have a smile on your face, and you enjoy making meals for others, that is okay. If you are a guy who would rather complain to a girl than ask her out, you let girls cook for you and don't do anything in return, and you only ask a girl out if you already know you are really, genuinely interested and think you love her, that is okay. Just make sure you know who to blame if you are single. You are responsible for it. Not the girls who won't smile, not the guys you make dinner for. You. It is okay to be single. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Enjoy dating. Don't worry about it so much. And last, but not least, learn to be happy no matter what situation you find yourself in.