Thursday, March 8, 2012

What I wish I could say...

I never felt like we were truly friends. I've always been there for you, even when you didn't want me there. Yet  you haven't been there for me lately and I really needed you. No matter what I do it isn't good enough. It's been a one sided friendship all along and I honestly don't know why I've stuck with it.

I've always been overlooked. And I trusted you with my deepest feelings and thoughts. But I don't think you really cared. And now even you're overlooking me.

You're a jerk. That's all there is to it.

You're the best friend I've ever had. When I say we'll be friends forever, I actually mean it. As cheesy and lame as that may sound. Thanks for eating the crazy, unhealthy food combinations with me and for listening to me ramble and rant over the smallest things.

Even after I yelled in your ear when we were five, you stayed my friend. And I'm so grateful for that. You've seen me happy, sad, angry, anxious and everywhere in between. You better still be around to see me attempting to run through sprinklers when my thighs don't work.

I feel like you used me. And now that I can't help you get the girls you want, you find no point in our friendships. I understand. Actually, I don't. But whatever, I'll get over it.

I don't like it when people don't like me. I'll do just about everything I can to keep a friendship. But I don't even know what else to try with you.

You're welcome for all the free food.

Thanks for trying. It really made a difference.

I'm sorry for the way I handled things. I wish I could go back and change it all. Thanks for still putting up with me and wanting to be my friend. And even though it'd be hilarious if you did, it probably isn't the best idea to send him a fish and gross rabbit hair.

Just be honest with me.

I miss you. More than anything. I still feel responsible for what happened, and SO guilty. Please forgive me. I'm doing my best, trying to anyway. There is no way I could ever live up to what you could have become.

I'm worried about you. I want to support you, but it's getting to the point where I don't know what to do anymore.

Quit hiding. Take responsibility for you're life and actually do something.

I know. I don't know if'it's still going on, and I don't want to know. But please understand that I'm here for you no matter what.

I've always looked up to you. I never understood how you could easily hide all your cares, fears, worries and just listen. I wish I would have done the same for you.

You make me laugh. Harder than anyone out there. Don't ever doubt yourself because you really are outstanding.

You amaze me. The way that you don't care what anyone thinks, how you don't ever judge or talk harshly, how your one hundred percent yourself. I admire that.

You are stronger than you think you are.

Life is hard. And we all have different taste buds.

Thank you for making me who I am.