Hard Things

Lately I've been thinking. Obviously I've been doing more thinking than blogging...sorry if there is anyone out there truly upset by my lack of posts...

Anyway. I've been thinking about trials. Why we have them, what we do with them, and how to come out of them. This may sound slightly familiar to anyone who reads my blog. And that is because I talked about it here almost exactly a year ago.

This time of year actually has some significance in my life. For those of you who know me and my family you understand that the time around the holidays can be a very hard and emotional time for us. Once the holidays are over I've got a lot on my mind. I think about how I've changed, what I've learned, and who I've become.

I remember when it first happened. I thought my life was over. I thought I'd never be happy again. I thought it was the worst, most horrible thing that could ever happen. I didn't understand why God would put me and my family through such a bad thing. We were good people, we didn't deserve it, right?

When one of my uncles sat his family down to talk about what my family was going through, he discussed with them what exactly it was. He asked them if bad things could happen to good people. They responded with yes, bad things do happen to good people. We were good people, but what we were going through was a bad thing. He went on to explain that bad things don't happen to good people, but hard things happen to good people.

I've always interpreted that little statement to mean that good people will have trials happen that, in the long run, will become easier to deal with. When looking back we can see the good that has come from a trial. That, as it says in D&C 90:24, by searching diligently, praying always, and believing, all things, including trials, will work together for our good. Although I still see it this way, I've also come up with a new way to look at it.

The same thing could happen to two different people - one who is living their life the way they should be and another who isn't exactly making the right choices. The second person will most likely see is as a bad thing. They may dwell on it, possibly grow from it, but chances are they'll always wish the bad thing would go away. The first person, however, will look at it and realize that hard things happen, but that isn't the end. It isn't the trial that makes it bad or hard, but how the person handles it.

I feel as if I've handled it in a way that I'm proud of. Like I talked about in my post last year, I'm happy with who I've become and how that trial helped to shape me. With the right attitude, the "bad" things in life can be turned to "hard" things and possibly even later it can become something to be grateful for.

The next thing that I've got on my mind is why we have trials. It was so hard for me. I was constantly asking WHY it had to happen, WHAT I did to deserve the pain and sorrow I was feeling, WHY was Heavenly Father putting me through this?

I know I say this about every scripture, but this is one of my favorites. In D&C 121:7-8 it says "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." In the eternal perspective, our trials will not last long at all. We shouldn't dwell on them, be afraid of them, or let them take over our lives.

President Harold B. Lee said "Don't be afraid of the testing and trials of life. Sometimes when you are going through the most severe tests, you will be nearer to God than you have any idea, for like the experience of the Master Himself in the temptation on the mount, in the Garden of Gethsemane, and on the cross at Calvary, the scriptures record, 'And, behold angels came and ministered unto him.' Sometimes that may happen to you in the midst of your trials." Our trials and sufferings can bring us closer to God than anything else, we just have to let it happen. After all, who can understand better than the man who went through our pains, afflictions, temptations, sicknesses, and infirmities? Who can better help you than your Savior?

Our Heavenly Father wants us to be near him. He wants, more than anything, for his children to return to him. The way that we will make it back to him is by enduring to the end. In my mind, enduring means progressing, changing, becoming. I've noticed that trials often come right after a spiritual high or right when you think life can't get better. Sending a trial at this time is His way of saying "I'm proud of the choices you've made. You've come so far. You can make it through this, too." Trials aren't sent as punishments. They are sent because He wants us to turn to him, strengthen our testimonies, and become better people.

Thinking about how happy this gospel makes me, stops my words. I can't express my gratitude, my joy, or my love. I do know, with ever piece of me, that it's true. No matter what your trial is you are NEVER alone. As Elder Scott pointed out in his talk about the atonement, NOTHING was forgotten. Whether you're suffering making time for everything, or you don't understand your classes, or you still struggle with something that happened a long time ago, you are not alone. He loves you more than you can imagine.

"The vast expanse of eternity, the glories and mysteries of infinite space and time are all built for the benefit of ordinary mortals like you and me. Compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God."
 - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

He has already suffered for us. Turning to him is all it takes.