Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What I wish I could say (Part 2)

Remember this post? Well, it is happening again.

How about you stop joking about taking me on a date and actually take me on a date? I think we would both really enjoy it.

Sometimes I think you are too judgmental. And that probably makes me judgmental. But that's the way it is. Because, really, if you'd stop noticing the things that annoy you, you'd find that you would be a lot happier.

I think you are old enough to start taking care of yourself now. Not that you are doing a completely horrible job at it, but I just think you have the potential to do a whole lot better.

You've quickly become one of my best friends. And I'm so grateful for that. But, I don't really enjoy it when you put yourself into my situations and try to fix them for me. I know you mean well, but I really do know how to handle things on my own. I just wish I had that chance.

Your honesty and humor are a great combination. I love you for that. Thanks for always being there for me, from the serious conversations to the crazy way eating of Swedish fish. You are the best.

You are breaking my heart. And I don't like it.

I'm proud of you. I truly am. You've never been afraid to be yourself, even when others haven't treated you with respect because of it. I wish I knew how to show you how much your example really means to me.

I wish I knew how to help you. I want you to be happy. It hurts to see you in so much pain.

You think like a girl. If you could just admit that to yourself and accept it, you might actually be able to enjoy it and come to some conclusions rather than all of this "it's just so complicated" crap.

I look back and think about how angry I was with you, how I constantly wanted to just slap you across the face. But if I had the chance now, I'd really like to just give you a nice high-five and say thanks.

This isn't easy for me. Nothing has changed. But everything's changed. I don't like dealing with it. My defense is to hide, which isn't the nicest thing for me to do. So I'm sorry. I obviously have some things I need to work out. I just really hope we can still be friends when all of this is over.

Rather than talking to everyone else about my life, just talk to me. I can give you the honest details. But when you discuss my personal life with people I don't want to know about these details, my trust in you goes down. I don't know if I'll be able to keep confiding in you.

Our car rides together are some of my favorite moments. You always have a way of cheering me up, even if you are crying in the seat next to me. I'm proud of the strong girl you have become. And I'm also so glad we are this close.

To answer your question, yes. I do still feel like that change will have to happen. But not in the way I used to think about it.

I remember when I had that really crappy morning and I didn't want to go to class. I didn't even have to tell you what was going on, you didn't expect me to tell you anything. You just stayed with me, watching movies and eating junk food until I was happy again. And that wasn't the first time you'd done something like that. And it obviously hasn't been the last. I know we aren't very sentimental. Ever. But prepare yourself, because I'm about to be. I don't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for your friendship. When I thought all was over and that no one cared, you were there for me. When I just want to be done, you are willing to do whatever it takes to turn my mood around. You really are the best friend I've ever had. I don't know how to repay you for that. So thank you. Oh, and PS- got me cookie, gave you cookie!

I wish I felt more comfortable around you, because you really are a great person. And if I had to list my top five best friends, you'd be in that top five. Which is weird, because we rarely even speak.

Cut your hair. Please. Just cut it already. It's gross.

You are such a weird guy. But you know that. And you don't care that you're weird. And that is why we are friends.

I think you are attractive. And if we could get to know each other, I think it would be beneficial. How about a date? ;)

I think maybe it would be a good idea for you to stop posting about how you are single on Facebook. It seems like you are trying to come across like you are okay with it, but it just sounds desperate and a little bit pathetic. Rather than post about it, just go out and get yourself some dates. I know you can, because you're pretty darn good looking.

Still want to send a dead fish and some rabbit hair in the mail? I know just the person...

I don't think I've lived up to who you could be.  But I'm trying. And I know you are helping me. Thank you.

Although we've never met, I grateful for the person you are. You've been a huge example to me.

I don't think you realize how truly amazing you are. I wish I could tell you. I wish you could see it. If I had the guts, I'd be telling you my thoughts, trying to build you up, and thanking you for all that you've done for me.

People are weird. We are people. That means we are weird. Deal with it.

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