Today was one of those days. I just couldn't be happy. I kept thinking about all the things I'm missing out on by living at home, of all the places I wanted to be, of all the things I wished I could be doing.
With the bad mood in tow, I drove home from work. The closer I got to home, the more upset I became. And believe me, I came up with plenty to be upset about.
Near my house, there is a street completely covered with trees. Even with the bad mood clouding my thoughts, as I drove down that street I couldn't help but think "Gosh, these trees are gorgeous! They always make me happy." I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth. And sometimes, I just need a cheesy tree moment to pull me out of my awful thoughts and focus on the good.
And you know what I realized? I could come up with more to be thankful for than to be upset about. I am blessed more than I deserve, and I shouldn't dwell on the bad. I need to be optimistic and notice the good.
So, here are some things I am thankful for that bring me into a more optimistic mindset.
I'm thankful for the days I can just sit down listen to music with Mitchell.
For the fact that both my brothers like me to read to them before they go to bed.
That I have parents who will be on my side no matter what.
For an older sister who, even though she has so much going on in her own life, will spend an entire day reading every blog post I've ever written and then later ask to read other things I've written.
I'm thankful for the days I don't get a flat tire, run out of gas, or get pulled over on my way to work.
For those moments a student tells me "I wish you were my teacher, I love your class."
I'm thankful that people believe in me and haven't given up on me.
For the days I'm at work and I don't get fired.
That I have a best friend who will listen to me all day long, no matter what I have to say.
I'm thankful when I don't choke on my food.
For the fact that I have a job that doesn't require me to wake up early, drive a long distance, cause me to lower my standards, or involves people throwing tomatoes at my face.
That my little sister will call me back even if all I said in my message was "I WANT TO JUMP IN LEAVES!"
For the times Spencer doesn't make fun of me when I try to play a video game.
That the guy from that awkward date didn't murder me.
For friends who still keep in touch.
I'm thankful when the green light is lit up when I get to the stop light.
For the students who seem to read my mind and know when I need a pick-me-up.
I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who puts up with me and loves me no matter what.
I could keep going for hours. But, the point isn't to list every little thing I'm thankful for. The point is to remind myself that being grateful for something can help me see the bright side, help me to have a happier attitude.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Rules of being a Gentleman
I recently went on the most awful blind date ever imaginable. Okay, it could have been worse. No cars were crashed this time, and I did make it back alive. Nonetheless, it was an awful date.
It's all thanks to one of my old roommates. She had gone on a date with him and wasn't interested. Rather than telling him that, she decided to just pass him along and give him my number. He had red hair, so of course she thought I'd like him.
I've been on many blind dates. I went on some with some really great guys, some with some guys who were jerks, and some where the guy was very average in everything he did. This last blind date was...well, it was different. Throughout the entire date I couldn't help but compare everything this guy did to previous dates I had been on. To be honest, this guy failed in almost every aspect.
This surprised me. The roommate who set us up had told me he was a gentleman. He opened doors for her, gave her a coat to wear, he sent the impression that he was a gentleman. After the date, I realized he just had the appearance of being a gentleman, but he wasn't a genuine gentleman. I came up with a few points of where he went wrong, a few rules of being a true gentleman.
#1 - Asking for the date
I understand that this was a blind date, but he asked me over a text. He obviously couldn't ask me in person and we were already talking through text so it did make a little sense. However, it would have been four thousand times better had he called and asked me. True, it would have been awkward. But think about it, you can hear a persons thoughts through their voice. This can help you know how excited or devastated the girl is about going on the date, which will help you prepare for the date. Also, we girls may not admit it too often, but we like that old fashion stuff.
#2 - Planning the date
Spontaneity is fun, but it has it's limits. Let's be honest, there is a difference between turning a study session into a date and taking a girl out for four hours when she has no clue of the plan. Make sure that you know the girls plans ahead of time. Even if you have been best friends for eight years, she might not dare tell you she has to be up at five for work the next day.
#3 - Ending the date
This obviously goes along with planning the date. Remember, no matter how great the date is going, it needs to end. It is always better to end on a positive note than a negative one. For example, say you're on the best date of your life. The two of you are hitting it off. You want to spend more time with her. Don't make this date last longer, ask her on a second one instead. This is a far better plan than taking her out for ice cream after you've had dinner and a movie. End the date on a high note, leaving her wanting to go out with you again.
#4 - Be honest
I mean be honest in every possible way. If you didn't hear what she said, tell her. Don't pretend you knew. If you hate her favorite movie, tell her. Don't act like you watch it every night. If you don't like her, don't hold her hand and make plans to go on another date. Before the date with this guy, he had me convinced he had a daughter. He had sent me a picture of her and everything. Of course, I'd be okay either way, if he had a daughter or not. This was the first date and I wasn't going to be judgmental of a guy I didn't know. However, if you have a child, sending your date a picture of them isn't the way to let them know. Especially on a first date. It turns out that he didn't have a daughter. So, why on earth was he telling me he did? BE HONEST! Don't lie about little things, and DON'T lie about bigger things.
#5 - Get to know her
This is what annoyed me the most on this awful blind date. Each time I went into a story or started answering his questions he'd interrupt with something like "My hair is actually kind of a strawberry blonde, not red" or "My nieces like me to push them on the swings." What is the point of asking me a question if you aren't going to let me answer? There should be an actual conversation on the date. It shouldn't be set up in question and answer form. Respond to what she says. Answer her questions. Listen to what she says. If she brings it up again, ask more questions, it's obviously important to her. I mentioned my family multiple times on this date, each time he quickly changed the subject. On a date I'd been on with another guy, he asked me questions about each of my siblings, taking an interest in all of them. This was great because later when I brought up my sister, he immediately knew which one I was talking about.
*GIRLS! This goes for you too! Don't be the girl who talks about herself the entire date.
#6 - Do the "Gentleman" things
This should go without saying. You need to make her feel safe around you, especially if it is a blind date. Don't take her to an abandoned park at one in the morning. Don't force her to do something she doesn't feel comfortable with. If she says no, she means no. This doesn't just mean with physical touch, it can even go with conversation. On this date, after I told the guy I'm terrified of needles, he proceeded to try and poke my hand with one. I was near tears, begging him not to. Guys, be smart. Don't make a girl feel uncomfortable. This also includes opening doors, picking her up at the front door, meeting her family or roommates or anyone else who is there, and then walking her to her door at the end of the date. Remember, this shouldn't be obnoxious. Show her that you will get the door for her, don't shout it at her as you head towards the car.
#7 - Take it easy
This goes along with almost every other rule I've mentioned. It boils down to one thing - DON'T BE FORWARD! There is nothing worse than having a guy hold your hand on the first date when you know nothing about him. Guys, if the she has her hands in the pocket of her jacket, don't reach in for them. If she yawns and mentions she has a busy day, take her home. Don't drag out the date. Don't talk about marriage or even plan out all of your future dates. Take it easy, you don't want to seem like you're going to hold her at gun point and drag her to the temple.
Now, I know we girls can be VERY difficult. I can't speak for other girls but I can tell you what I've learned in my experiences. We don't want to get hurt and we don't want to hurt you. This means we'll give off "signs" and hope you understand them. We don't want to flat out tell you we aren't interested, or flat out tell you we are. It's scary for us. If you are confused, just ask her. Tell her to be honest and straightforward. She should respect for you that.
Just so you know, I mean this for girls as well. We are just as much to blame if a date goes horribly. There will always be things for both sides to work on. This is just a start. If this blind date guy ever asked me out again, I'd say no in a heartbeat. If he isn't going to treat me with respect then he doesn't deserve a second date. I think I've only been on one date where the guy actually came close to perfectly following each of these rules. If he asked me out again, I wouldn't be able to hold in my excitement. The way you treat someone will mean a lot more than how much you have in common.
And there you have it. My opinion. If you want to hear about this awful date and laugh your head off, give me a call, I'd love to tell you the story. :)
It's all thanks to one of my old roommates. She had gone on a date with him and wasn't interested. Rather than telling him that, she decided to just pass him along and give him my number. He had red hair, so of course she thought I'd like him.
I've been on many blind dates. I went on some with some really great guys, some with some guys who were jerks, and some where the guy was very average in everything he did. This last blind date was...well, it was different. Throughout the entire date I couldn't help but compare everything this guy did to previous dates I had been on. To be honest, this guy failed in almost every aspect.
This surprised me. The roommate who set us up had told me he was a gentleman. He opened doors for her, gave her a coat to wear, he sent the impression that he was a gentleman. After the date, I realized he just had the appearance of being a gentleman, but he wasn't a genuine gentleman. I came up with a few points of where he went wrong, a few rules of being a true gentleman.
#1 - Asking for the date
I understand that this was a blind date, but he asked me over a text. He obviously couldn't ask me in person and we were already talking through text so it did make a little sense. However, it would have been four thousand times better had he called and asked me. True, it would have been awkward. But think about it, you can hear a persons thoughts through their voice. This can help you know how excited or devastated the girl is about going on the date, which will help you prepare for the date. Also, we girls may not admit it too often, but we like that old fashion stuff.
#2 - Planning the date
Spontaneity is fun, but it has it's limits. Let's be honest, there is a difference between turning a study session into a date and taking a girl out for four hours when she has no clue of the plan. Make sure that you know the girls plans ahead of time. Even if you have been best friends for eight years, she might not dare tell you she has to be up at five for work the next day.
#3 - Ending the date
This obviously goes along with planning the date. Remember, no matter how great the date is going, it needs to end. It is always better to end on a positive note than a negative one. For example, say you're on the best date of your life. The two of you are hitting it off. You want to spend more time with her. Don't make this date last longer, ask her on a second one instead. This is a far better plan than taking her out for ice cream after you've had dinner and a movie. End the date on a high note, leaving her wanting to go out with you again.
#4 - Be honest
I mean be honest in every possible way. If you didn't hear what she said, tell her. Don't pretend you knew. If you hate her favorite movie, tell her. Don't act like you watch it every night. If you don't like her, don't hold her hand and make plans to go on another date. Before the date with this guy, he had me convinced he had a daughter. He had sent me a picture of her and everything. Of course, I'd be okay either way, if he had a daughter or not. This was the first date and I wasn't going to be judgmental of a guy I didn't know. However, if you have a child, sending your date a picture of them isn't the way to let them know. Especially on a first date. It turns out that he didn't have a daughter. So, why on earth was he telling me he did? BE HONEST! Don't lie about little things, and DON'T lie about bigger things.
#5 - Get to know her
This is what annoyed me the most on this awful blind date. Each time I went into a story or started answering his questions he'd interrupt with something like "My hair is actually kind of a strawberry blonde, not red" or "My nieces like me to push them on the swings." What is the point of asking me a question if you aren't going to let me answer? There should be an actual conversation on the date. It shouldn't be set up in question and answer form. Respond to what she says. Answer her questions. Listen to what she says. If she brings it up again, ask more questions, it's obviously important to her. I mentioned my family multiple times on this date, each time he quickly changed the subject. On a date I'd been on with another guy, he asked me questions about each of my siblings, taking an interest in all of them. This was great because later when I brought up my sister, he immediately knew which one I was talking about.
*GIRLS! This goes for you too! Don't be the girl who talks about herself the entire date.
#6 - Do the "Gentleman" things
This should go without saying. You need to make her feel safe around you, especially if it is a blind date. Don't take her to an abandoned park at one in the morning. Don't force her to do something she doesn't feel comfortable with. If she says no, she means no. This doesn't just mean with physical touch, it can even go with conversation. On this date, after I told the guy I'm terrified of needles, he proceeded to try and poke my hand with one. I was near tears, begging him not to. Guys, be smart. Don't make a girl feel uncomfortable. This also includes opening doors, picking her up at the front door, meeting her family or roommates or anyone else who is there, and then walking her to her door at the end of the date. Remember, this shouldn't be obnoxious. Show her that you will get the door for her, don't shout it at her as you head towards the car.
#7 - Take it easy
This goes along with almost every other rule I've mentioned. It boils down to one thing - DON'T BE FORWARD! There is nothing worse than having a guy hold your hand on the first date when you know nothing about him. Guys, if the she has her hands in the pocket of her jacket, don't reach in for them. If she yawns and mentions she has a busy day, take her home. Don't drag out the date. Don't talk about marriage or even plan out all of your future dates. Take it easy, you don't want to seem like you're going to hold her at gun point and drag her to the temple.
Now, I know we girls can be VERY difficult. I can't speak for other girls but I can tell you what I've learned in my experiences. We don't want to get hurt and we don't want to hurt you. This means we'll give off "signs" and hope you understand them. We don't want to flat out tell you we aren't interested, or flat out tell you we are. It's scary for us. If you are confused, just ask her. Tell her to be honest and straightforward. She should respect for you that.
Just so you know, I mean this for girls as well. We are just as much to blame if a date goes horribly. There will always be things for both sides to work on. This is just a start. If this blind date guy ever asked me out again, I'd say no in a heartbeat. If he isn't going to treat me with respect then he doesn't deserve a second date. I think I've only been on one date where the guy actually came close to perfectly following each of these rules. If he asked me out again, I wouldn't be able to hold in my excitement. The way you treat someone will mean a lot more than how much you have in common.
And there you have it. My opinion. If you want to hear about this awful date and laugh your head off, give me a call, I'd love to tell you the story. :)
Sunday, November 4, 2012
One Step at a Time
Let me be honest, this is not where I pictured myself to be at this point in my life.
This past week, I met a lot of new people. While getting to know one, a friend said "Sorine works at an elementary school and is writing a book." I felt accomplished. While meeting another, a different friend said, "Sorine's kind of having a midlife crisis." I felt pathetic.
In both situations, we were talking about the same thing, the fact that I'm not going to school right now. A lot of people, including myself, often see this as a negative thing. After all, it is good to have an education, school is where you meet people, and to be blunt, you just gotta get out of the house.
One thing I've noticed about meeting new people or catching up with people I haven't seen in a while, is they all give me the same disappointed look. If I'm just meeting them, they pretty much toss away the thought of becoming friends. If I'm not getting an education, I must not be worth it. If I know them, they give me a look that says, "Come on, Sorine, I thought you were better than that."
As I said, this isn't how I pictured my life. And I see the fact that I'm not at school as a negative thing. Why am I not at school then? The response that I normally give is, "I didn't want to take out a loan, so I'm saving money to go back next year." This is true, but as always, there is more to it.
When in high school, I had an experience (possibly a topic for another blog another day) that completely changed my outlook on life. I wanted to serve a mission. The gospel brought me joy and I loved it more than anything. I didn't want to live selfishly, I wanted to share the joy I felt. I wanted people to know that they don't have to be alone, that they are loved, that they are children of God.
I stuck with that decision and tried really hard to learn and grow as much as I could. I had it all planned out, I'd go to school and get my associates, come home and work until I was 21, and then leave on a mission. A mission was all I could see. Of course, there were times I doubted it, wondered if I could really handle it. But each time I prayed about it, I got a feeling that I should keep living how I was and keep learning as much as I could. Seeing how a mission was what I wanted, I turned that answer into the idea that I NEEDED to serve a mission.
However, as I ended my second year of school and the time to start my papers came closer, I began to pray and fast about it more often. And although I was still getting the feeling that this learning and growing thing was good, I was also getting the answer that I needed to stay home, He needed me here.
Deciding not to go on a mission but to instead to go where He wanted me to be was one of the hardest things I had to do. I had everyone doubting me, worrying I was falling away from the church. People were telling me I needed to pray and fast about it before making such a serious choice. They couldn't see that I already had, that I was struggling enough on my own. If anyone is reading this, please remember, you never know the full story. NEVER judge anyone or make them feel like less of a person because of a decision they've made. Each individual is in a different situation. Placing judgement because you think they aren't making the right decision isn't okay. What I needed right then was support, and believe it or not, it was difficult to find.
After General Conference and the announcement of the age change for missionaries, I couldn't help but look back on my life wonder what would have been different if I had the option of serving a mission at age 19. I honestly don't know. However, I do know that I wouldn't change the experiences I had at school for anything.
I still don't know what Heavenly Father has in store for me. Right now I'm living at home, I'm teaching math part time at an elementary school, I work for my dad as a second job, I spend my free time writing a book that I'll probably never dare to let anyone read, and my social life is nonexistent. If that gives you the idea that I'm having a midlife crisis, that I'm a deadbeat, or that I am less than you, then fine. So be it.
I've learned so much through all of this. What's been the hardest to keep, however, is a good perspective. I need to remember that I am blessed. I have a job that I love, I'm living with a family who will do anything for me, and I find ways brighten my day. As one of my favorite hymns says, "Lead kindly light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead thou me on. Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene - One step enough for me."
I know I am where He wants me to be. It is different than what I had planned, but I also know the result will be better this way. He can see the road ahead of me. He knows what's best for me. I'm following the best I can. Even though it's hard and I sometimes feel like a deadbeat having a midlife crisis, I can be happy. And you know what? I am. I don't know what he has in store for me next, but I'm going where He wants me to go, one step at a time.
This past week, I met a lot of new people. While getting to know one, a friend said "Sorine works at an elementary school and is writing a book." I felt accomplished. While meeting another, a different friend said, "Sorine's kind of having a midlife crisis." I felt pathetic.
In both situations, we were talking about the same thing, the fact that I'm not going to school right now. A lot of people, including myself, often see this as a negative thing. After all, it is good to have an education, school is where you meet people, and to be blunt, you just gotta get out of the house.
One thing I've noticed about meeting new people or catching up with people I haven't seen in a while, is they all give me the same disappointed look. If I'm just meeting them, they pretty much toss away the thought of becoming friends. If I'm not getting an education, I must not be worth it. If I know them, they give me a look that says, "Come on, Sorine, I thought you were better than that."
As I said, this isn't how I pictured my life. And I see the fact that I'm not at school as a negative thing. Why am I not at school then? The response that I normally give is, "I didn't want to take out a loan, so I'm saving money to go back next year." This is true, but as always, there is more to it.
When in high school, I had an experience (possibly a topic for another blog another day) that completely changed my outlook on life. I wanted to serve a mission. The gospel brought me joy and I loved it more than anything. I didn't want to live selfishly, I wanted to share the joy I felt. I wanted people to know that they don't have to be alone, that they are loved, that they are children of God.
I stuck with that decision and tried really hard to learn and grow as much as I could. I had it all planned out, I'd go to school and get my associates, come home and work until I was 21, and then leave on a mission. A mission was all I could see. Of course, there were times I doubted it, wondered if I could really handle it. But each time I prayed about it, I got a feeling that I should keep living how I was and keep learning as much as I could. Seeing how a mission was what I wanted, I turned that answer into the idea that I NEEDED to serve a mission.
However, as I ended my second year of school and the time to start my papers came closer, I began to pray and fast about it more often. And although I was still getting the feeling that this learning and growing thing was good, I was also getting the answer that I needed to stay home, He needed me here.
Deciding not to go on a mission but to instead to go where He wanted me to be was one of the hardest things I had to do. I had everyone doubting me, worrying I was falling away from the church. People were telling me I needed to pray and fast about it before making such a serious choice. They couldn't see that I already had, that I was struggling enough on my own. If anyone is reading this, please remember, you never know the full story. NEVER judge anyone or make them feel like less of a person because of a decision they've made. Each individual is in a different situation. Placing judgement because you think they aren't making the right decision isn't okay. What I needed right then was support, and believe it or not, it was difficult to find.
After General Conference and the announcement of the age change for missionaries, I couldn't help but look back on my life wonder what would have been different if I had the option of serving a mission at age 19. I honestly don't know. However, I do know that I wouldn't change the experiences I had at school for anything.
I still don't know what Heavenly Father has in store for me. Right now I'm living at home, I'm teaching math part time at an elementary school, I work for my dad as a second job, I spend my free time writing a book that I'll probably never dare to let anyone read, and my social life is nonexistent. If that gives you the idea that I'm having a midlife crisis, that I'm a deadbeat, or that I am less than you, then fine. So be it.
I've learned so much through all of this. What's been the hardest to keep, however, is a good perspective. I need to remember that I am blessed. I have a job that I love, I'm living with a family who will do anything for me, and I find ways brighten my day. As one of my favorite hymns says, "Lead kindly light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead thou me on. Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene - One step enough for me."
I know I am where He wants me to be. It is different than what I had planned, but I also know the result will be better this way. He can see the road ahead of me. He knows what's best for me. I'm following the best I can. Even though it's hard and I sometimes feel like a deadbeat having a midlife crisis, I can be happy. And you know what? I am. I don't know what he has in store for me next, but I'm going where He wants me to go, one step at a time.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Dating
Dating is one of the subjects I've avoided on my blog. Sure, I've talked about how I'm single and how just about everyone thinks I should be married by now. But I haven't straight out talked about dating. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. To make it simple, I think it has been overdone. Just about every college female has posted her thoughts on dating. Often times she comes across as being bitter, or has hating everything the male gender has ever said to her. She must have had a rough life. But let's be honest. The females aren't the only ones posting about dating. And they aren't the only ones coming off as bitter and rude.
When talking to these young men, or even from just reading their blog posts, I've found that the same three pieces of advice come from all of them. One: "Don't be so old fashion. Ask the guy out for once!" Two: "You just need to smile more. Seriously, you're always giving off an intimidating look of annoyance." And three: "Quit doing so much for us. For once we'd like to make dinner for ourselves, thank you very much."
Okay, you caught me. That last one really comes from an apostle. And I paraphrased. The direct quote isn't quite so sarcastic. Dallin H. Oaks said, "Young women... don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door."
So, I've been given those three pieces of advice. I've followed them. I've asked on more dates than I've been asked on. I've flat out told guys the way I feel about them. I smiled so much my little brother told me to "stop smiling so much, you look like a freak." I've smiled so much while walking on campus that the smile turned into laughter. I'm sure that isn't the goal of smiling more, but I think I entertained a few people. The last bit of advice I'm not too proud of. I'm guilty of providing dinner for a group guys at least once a week. Whoops! I guess I followed the "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach" advice instead.
And now you may ask, what are the results of me "following" this advice? I'll tell you. I'm single. I'm living with my parents again. I don't even need to use all the fingers on one hand to count how many times I've been asked on a date. I'm still president of the Virgin Lips club I started in high school, quite possibly the last original member. Am I ashamed? Am I unhappy? Do I spend each night crying into my pillow while watching Never Been Kissed?
Again, let me tell you. I am happy. I'm not ashamed. Never Been Kissed is one of my favorite movies, but I'm not watching it and crying all the time. And I can honestly say that I love my life.
Here is my advice to all, both boys and girls. Err, excuse me, to both MEN and WOMEN. ;) Date who you want, when you want, and how you want. Be yourself. If you are a girl who expects the guys to ask on dates, you don't constantly have a smile on your face, and you enjoy making meals for others, that is okay. If you are a guy who would rather complain to a girl than ask her out, you let girls cook for you and don't do anything in return, and you only ask a girl out if you already know you are really, genuinely interested and think you love her, that is okay. Just make sure you know who to blame if you are single. You are responsible for it. Not the girls who won't smile, not the guys you make dinner for. You. It is okay to be single. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Enjoy dating. Don't worry about it so much. And last, but not least, learn to be happy no matter what situation you find yourself in.
When talking to these young men, or even from just reading their blog posts, I've found that the same three pieces of advice come from all of them. One: "Don't be so old fashion. Ask the guy out for once!" Two: "You just need to smile more. Seriously, you're always giving off an intimidating look of annoyance." And three: "Quit doing so much for us. For once we'd like to make dinner for ourselves, thank you very much."
Okay, you caught me. That last one really comes from an apostle. And I paraphrased. The direct quote isn't quite so sarcastic. Dallin H. Oaks said, "Young women... don't make it easy for young men to hang out in a setting where you women provide the food. Don't subsidize freeloaders. An occasional group activity is okay, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door."
So, I've been given those three pieces of advice. I've followed them. I've asked on more dates than I've been asked on. I've flat out told guys the way I feel about them. I smiled so much my little brother told me to "stop smiling so much, you look like a freak." I've smiled so much while walking on campus that the smile turned into laughter. I'm sure that isn't the goal of smiling more, but I think I entertained a few people. The last bit of advice I'm not too proud of. I'm guilty of providing dinner for a group guys at least once a week. Whoops! I guess I followed the "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach" advice instead.
And now you may ask, what are the results of me "following" this advice? I'll tell you. I'm single. I'm living with my parents again. I don't even need to use all the fingers on one hand to count how many times I've been asked on a date. I'm still president of the Virgin Lips club I started in high school, quite possibly the last original member. Am I ashamed? Am I unhappy? Do I spend each night crying into my pillow while watching Never Been Kissed?
Again, let me tell you. I am happy. I'm not ashamed. Never Been Kissed is one of my favorite movies, but I'm not watching it and crying all the time. And I can honestly say that I love my life.
Here is my advice to all, both boys and girls. Err, excuse me, to both MEN and WOMEN. ;) Date who you want, when you want, and how you want. Be yourself. If you are a girl who expects the guys to ask on dates, you don't constantly have a smile on your face, and you enjoy making meals for others, that is okay. If you are a guy who would rather complain to a girl than ask her out, you let girls cook for you and don't do anything in return, and you only ask a girl out if you already know you are really, genuinely interested and think you love her, that is okay. Just make sure you know who to blame if you are single. You are responsible for it. Not the girls who won't smile, not the guys you make dinner for. You. It is okay to be single. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Enjoy dating. Don't worry about it so much. And last, but not least, learn to be happy no matter what situation you find yourself in.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Milk Jugs
Last year, Chelsea was wasting time on pintrest. She discovered an igloo made out of milk jugs. We decided we should make one. We've been saving milk jugs ever since.
Basically, while still at school we thought we'd get enough milk jugs and make the igloo over the summer. I mean, who doesn't want a milk jug igloo in the summer? We had our entire closet stuffed with milk jugs. Several apartments were even helping save them, not knowing why.
So now, quite a while later, the igloo is yet to be made. We still haven't gotten enough jugs. Well, I guess I can't honestly say that since I haven't counted them in a while. Anyway, they have been stored in my garage, in my room, and in a storage room in my basement. My family still saves all them for me. Slowly, we are making progress on the number.
My mother hasn't been too fond of the idea. Unlike most mothers, she doesn't want her house to be full of milk jugs. Crazy, right? While at work today, my dad texted me and said "call me about milk jugs, please." I panicked. I knew they were stressing my family out, but I wasn't ready to give up on it. I called Julia, and through her I decided with Chelsea and Staisha that we do still want to make this igloo, and as soon as we can all have a weekend off of work, we will make it happen.
I came home and explained this to my dad. He was okay with it. I think. He and Mitchell were cleaning out the garage and wanted the milk jugs to be stored somewhere else. I thought that was understandable. So I moved four giant garbage bags full of jugs into the basement. I didn't mean to, but I left a box full of them on the driveway.
My dad came home from the gym around eight. He threw the door open and said, "Sorine! Come help me clean the milk jugs up! They're all over our lawn!" Yeah, guess the wind wanted to try and make an igloo, too.
So, if you happened to drive by our house today and wondered why we had milk jugs in our grass, don't worry. It's just me attempting another craft. ;)
Basically, while still at school we thought we'd get enough milk jugs and make the igloo over the summer. I mean, who doesn't want a milk jug igloo in the summer? We had our entire closet stuffed with milk jugs. Several apartments were even helping save them, not knowing why.
So now, quite a while later, the igloo is yet to be made. We still haven't gotten enough jugs. Well, I guess I can't honestly say that since I haven't counted them in a while. Anyway, they have been stored in my garage, in my room, and in a storage room in my basement. My family still saves all them for me. Slowly, we are making progress on the number.
My mother hasn't been too fond of the idea. Unlike most mothers, she doesn't want her house to be full of milk jugs. Crazy, right? While at work today, my dad texted me and said "call me about milk jugs, please." I panicked. I knew they were stressing my family out, but I wasn't ready to give up on it. I called Julia, and through her I decided with Chelsea and Staisha that we do still want to make this igloo, and as soon as we can all have a weekend off of work, we will make it happen.
I came home and explained this to my dad. He was okay with it. I think. He and Mitchell were cleaning out the garage and wanted the milk jugs to be stored somewhere else. I thought that was understandable. So I moved four giant garbage bags full of jugs into the basement. I didn't mean to, but I left a box full of them on the driveway.
My dad came home from the gym around eight. He threw the door open and said, "Sorine! Come help me clean the milk jugs up! They're all over our lawn!" Yeah, guess the wind wanted to try and make an igloo, too.
So, if you happened to drive by our house today and wondered why we had milk jugs in our grass, don't worry. It's just me attempting another craft. ;)
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Pain
Pain is something each one of us has to deal with. However, pain isn't the same for all people. One of my roommates showed me how the little pain for me can be huge for someone else and the huge pain for me can be little for someone else. She had suffered a major neck injury and even years later I witnessed the horrible pain she felt from it. It was hard for her hearing others complain about a sore neck when she knew first hand what true neck pain could be. She never let it bother her. She was a huge example to me of how we shouldn't judge and how we need to be aware that everyone feels things differently.
The most pain I have personally ever felt was a different kind of pain. My little sister died when I was about twelve years old. It still is the hardest thing I have to deal with. My class at school sent me flowers, a teddy bear, and a binder full of personalized letters from each student. I felt like each letter was exactly the same. "I know what it feels like," they would say, "my great-great-great-great grandmother died when I was three. It was hard for me." Of course that is a bit of an exaggeration, but that is what it sounded like to me. I hated it. They didn't know what it felt like. I lost my little sister. She was two years old, not four hundred and nine.
I remember hearing people tell me "I'm so sorry" and "Is there anything you need?" so many times that I wanted to punch someone and then hide under my bed and never come out. Why where they sorry? It wasn't their fault. After all, I felt like the fault was mine. And yes, there was something I needed. I needed my sister back. I needed the weird unfamiliar feeling to go away. I needed them to leave me alone and let me grieve with my family for five minutes before another knock would come on the door.
I don't mean to say that I didn't appreciate the love and kindness and service we received during that time - I'll never forget it. Now it means more to me than just about anything else, but at the time I just didn't want to see people. There was one person, however, that didn't make me want to scream in frustration when I saw her face.
I was back in my room, trying to hide from the people I didn't even know. So many people were showing up and I just wanted to get away from it all. That's when the knock came on my bedroom door. My best friend Mindy had showed up. I met her at the front door where she looked at me and nodded. We both didn't want to talk in front of all the scary adults we'd never met. We walked back to my room and she said, with tears screaming to be released from her eyes, "I keep telling myself not to cry, that I need to be brave." I broke down and cried for the billionth time that day. But this time, it felt better. Someone was there for me, trying to be brave, but she understood how hard it was for me and wasn't afraid to sit on my bed with me and just let it all out. I don't know what was going on through her head at this time. I don't know how hard it was for her to come over. But I do know that it helped me more than anything.
It may sound lame or small or completely insignificant, but I'll never forget how much of a difference it can make to just let your emotions out with someone to be perfectly honest and just cry.
Thanks again, Mindy, for being there with me, helping me stay strong, and reminding me that I know it isn't over, that I will see her again. The important thing to remember is there is always someone who understands every little thing we will ever feel. All we have to do is turn to him and he'll be there to comfort us.
The most pain I have personally ever felt was a different kind of pain. My little sister died when I was about twelve years old. It still is the hardest thing I have to deal with. My class at school sent me flowers, a teddy bear, and a binder full of personalized letters from each student. I felt like each letter was exactly the same. "I know what it feels like," they would say, "my great-great-great-great grandmother died when I was three. It was hard for me." Of course that is a bit of an exaggeration, but that is what it sounded like to me. I hated it. They didn't know what it felt like. I lost my little sister. She was two years old, not four hundred and nine.
I remember hearing people tell me "I'm so sorry" and "Is there anything you need?" so many times that I wanted to punch someone and then hide under my bed and never come out. Why where they sorry? It wasn't their fault. After all, I felt like the fault was mine. And yes, there was something I needed. I needed my sister back. I needed the weird unfamiliar feeling to go away. I needed them to leave me alone and let me grieve with my family for five minutes before another knock would come on the door.
I don't mean to say that I didn't appreciate the love and kindness and service we received during that time - I'll never forget it. Now it means more to me than just about anything else, but at the time I just didn't want to see people. There was one person, however, that didn't make me want to scream in frustration when I saw her face.
I was back in my room, trying to hide from the people I didn't even know. So many people were showing up and I just wanted to get away from it all. That's when the knock came on my bedroom door. My best friend Mindy had showed up. I met her at the front door where she looked at me and nodded. We both didn't want to talk in front of all the scary adults we'd never met. We walked back to my room and she said, with tears screaming to be released from her eyes, "I keep telling myself not to cry, that I need to be brave." I broke down and cried for the billionth time that day. But this time, it felt better. Someone was there for me, trying to be brave, but she understood how hard it was for me and wasn't afraid to sit on my bed with me and just let it all out. I don't know what was going on through her head at this time. I don't know how hard it was for her to come over. But I do know that it helped me more than anything.
It may sound lame or small or completely insignificant, but I'll never forget how much of a difference it can make to just let your emotions out with someone to be perfectly honest and just cry.
Thanks again, Mindy, for being there with me, helping me stay strong, and reminding me that I know it isn't over, that I will see her again. The important thing to remember is there is always someone who understands every little thing we will ever feel. All we have to do is turn to him and he'll be there to comfort us.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
A Dilemma.
I realized something today. It finally hit me - I graduated High School. I've completed two years of college. Those are big accomplishments.
Problem is, I don't know what to do now. Yes, I had the schooling, but there was no direction with it. My interests are all over the place and I can't make up my mind long enough to get anything done.
Everyone lately has told me the solution is to get married. And yes, I mean everyone. I don't think I go a day without someone bringing it up. Here is a story to prove my point: My ten year old cousin has decided that since I am single and oh what do you know, there is a boy in her ward who just came home from his mission, the two of us must be in love. So she now follows me around singing, to the tune of "I know that my redeemer lives," "I know that_______ loves Sorine! Because he came home from his mission, I know that _______ loves Sorine!" She adds a line or two each day. I admit, it is pretty funny. However, today when she suggested her mom set me up on a blind date and her and her sister can double with us... I had visions of her following me around signing that song when I have company around. Not sure I'll find it so cute then. It's like having little siblings all over again. Haha.
Story number two: Same cousin. I was at her house before leaving for church on Sunday (see previous post). She was singing in the background as I talked to her mom and her other siblings. When I left, she yelled out the door "GOODBYE SORINE WHO NEEDS TO GET MARRIED!"
Anyway, my brother is also one who claims marriage is the answer. When I was living at home he'd come into my room all the time and just say, "Sorine, why aren't you married yet?" He'll ask me that question whenever there is a lull in conversation. It wouldn't surprise me if he mutters it in his sleep. Now that I'm not living at home, it isn't as bad. Though I do get a random text or two asking me the question, or hinting at it or something.
To answer his question I simply say "You have to be engaged before you can be married." The conversation then seems to never end...
Mitchell: When are you getting engaged?
Me: You have to date before you can be engaged.
Mitchell: When are you going to date?
Me: You have to have friends before you can date.
Mitchell: Why don't you have friends?
And there you have it. My dilemma. I spend too much time answering my brothers endless questions and listening to my cute little cousin sing that I don't make friends. Hopefully this week in the singles ward people will show up and I can attempt to be witty and charming and eventually make friends. :)
Problem is, I don't know what to do now. Yes, I had the schooling, but there was no direction with it. My interests are all over the place and I can't make up my mind long enough to get anything done.
Everyone lately has told me the solution is to get married. And yes, I mean everyone. I don't think I go a day without someone bringing it up. Here is a story to prove my point: My ten year old cousin has decided that since I am single and oh what do you know, there is a boy in her ward who just came home from his mission, the two of us must be in love. So she now follows me around singing, to the tune of "I know that my redeemer lives," "I know that_______ loves Sorine! Because he came home from his mission, I know that _______ loves Sorine!" She adds a line or two each day. I admit, it is pretty funny. However, today when she suggested her mom set me up on a blind date and her and her sister can double with us... I had visions of her following me around signing that song when I have company around. Not sure I'll find it so cute then. It's like having little siblings all over again. Haha.
Story number two: Same cousin. I was at her house before leaving for church on Sunday (see previous post). She was singing in the background as I talked to her mom and her other siblings. When I left, she yelled out the door "GOODBYE SORINE WHO NEEDS TO GET MARRIED!"
Anyway, my brother is also one who claims marriage is the answer. When I was living at home he'd come into my room all the time and just say, "Sorine, why aren't you married yet?" He'll ask me that question whenever there is a lull in conversation. It wouldn't surprise me if he mutters it in his sleep. Now that I'm not living at home, it isn't as bad. Though I do get a random text or two asking me the question, or hinting at it or something.
To answer his question I simply say "You have to be engaged before you can be married." The conversation then seems to never end...
Mitchell: When are you getting engaged?
Me: You have to date before you can be engaged.
Mitchell: When are you going to date?
Me: You have to have friends before you can date.
Mitchell: Why don't you have friends?
And there you have it. My dilemma. I spend too much time answering my brothers endless questions and listening to my cute little cousin sing that I don't make friends. Hopefully this week in the singles ward people will show up and I can attempt to be witty and charming and eventually make friends. :)
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